On the evening of Sept 22nd we got an emergency call for a little one year old boy. I had to drive down town at 8:00 at night to the alley behind the ODJFS building in Cincinnati. I then had to walk to the front door to get a security guard to let me in where I waited for 20 minutes while the case worker prepared paperwork for our little one. We walked out side and I signed paperwork on top of his car in the back alley. All the while this little boy was in my arms and just quiet and curious.
By 9:15 pm I was driving back with a very tired and confused baby who drifted in and out of sleep. My husband and daughter had run out to the store to get him some essentials while I was picking him up. They were waiting, parcels in hand, when I arrived. By the time I got home he was completely out but getting him out of the car woke him immediately. I bathed him, got some pajamas on him that Lily had picked out and a giant bottle of milk which he drank down pretty quickly. He slept only 2 hours or so at a time and I had to sleep next to him most of the night.
It's been about a week now and he is doing really well and last night he slept through the night finally. He is teething and drooling but he is a pretty happy kid apart from that. The hard thing is that the roller coaster has already started. His Mom actually showed up in court today. Dad did not come. However, Mom has a friend that she wants to try to get cleared to take him. We will see where it all leads and we still don't know how long he will be with us. He is a very loved little boy in the mean time!! It is so hard not to get attached.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Being Foster Parents
I looked back at my blog and realized I hadn't written since before we got my first placement. We ended up with three beautiful girls ages 2, 4, and 6. It was totally crazy with four children so I haven't blogged in forever. I was incredibly proud of myself though that I was able to parent four children and did it fairly successfully by the end of it. Everyone was very organized, we had a schedule and things like dishes and laundry actually got done too. I was even able to take the oldest three to the pool by myself; I didn't lose a kid or have any major catastrophe's occur.
The girls were only with us for 2 months however. The reason being that it wasn't really a good match. The four year old (who is really nearly 5) got very jealous when Lily and her sister would play together. This ended up in minor injuries for my daughter, unfortunately. Also, they really were children who needed a higher level of care than they initially thought. Who would have known? They will probably be going back to Dad soon if he can keep his job and finish his classes so we got another family to help them between now and then. Two of them are in school now and doing well. The littlest one turned 3 right before she left so we had a birthday party for her. It was very nice and she loved her gifts.
We took a few weeks off to get Lily into school and recuperate. We also went camping which was really fun! I love camping! We are now back on the open bed list and of course with in 20 minutes we got a call. We put our names in to be considered for two African American children. One is a 16 month old girl and the other is a 2 1/2 year old boy. However, we won't find out for another day or so if we are chosen to get them as a placement. Part of me is excited and part of me is nervous about having two babies in the house.
Like my last post, I am not sure what will happen and one minute you get a call and then next minute the children are being placed somewhere else or things change. Mostly this is because counties will call agencies like mine and get as many potential foster parents as possible. They will pick what they consider might be the best fit for these children. It all depends on the need out there and the number of current open beds that agencies have available. Who knows in a few weeks from now I could be the foster mother of a baby goat for all I know! I am joking, of course. Seriously, last time we had five calls and put our names down for three out of five of the calls. We finally ended up with the three girls.
Here is my take away from my first placement. This is a lot tougher job than they will ever tell you and it is impossible to prepare you for what you might face in a class! Counties will put a positive spin on the children because they want to get them care. They won't necessarily require you to get them all the help they need but they hope you will do as much as you can for them. By that I mean, counties can't afford to pay for theraputic care so they try to place children as traditional foster care as much as they can. If you are not careful you can go broke and be stuck doing far more than you expected if you really care about these kids. This is a "system" with lots of unwritten rules, manipulations, and you need to learn the ins and outs of it.
You are never prepared for what children might bring into your house either behavior wise or health wise and it will make you cry if you care about children. Our girls were exposed to adult horror movies so they really had a hard time sleeping. Also, they came in with nits we didn't know about and then had a full blown case of lice. The littlest one was very developmentally delayed enough to be borderline MRDD. She was a three year old with the speech skills of an 18 month old. The oldest horded food and wouldn't eat regular meals. She would tell you she hated everything. We had nearly every behavior that they talk about in the classes with those childern in two months.
Also, they all come in as wild children. Most have never had discipline and boundaries. If they had anything it was in the form of abuse. It becomes an incredible test of parental skills. If you pass you can make an incredible difference in a child's life. As challenging as it is, it also can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. As crazy as it was I can't wait to do it again (though I think my husband might have a differing opinion). :-)
The girls were only with us for 2 months however. The reason being that it wasn't really a good match. The four year old (who is really nearly 5) got very jealous when Lily and her sister would play together. This ended up in minor injuries for my daughter, unfortunately. Also, they really were children who needed a higher level of care than they initially thought. Who would have known? They will probably be going back to Dad soon if he can keep his job and finish his classes so we got another family to help them between now and then. Two of them are in school now and doing well. The littlest one turned 3 right before she left so we had a birthday party for her. It was very nice and she loved her gifts.
We took a few weeks off to get Lily into school and recuperate. We also went camping which was really fun! I love camping! We are now back on the open bed list and of course with in 20 minutes we got a call. We put our names in to be considered for two African American children. One is a 16 month old girl and the other is a 2 1/2 year old boy. However, we won't find out for another day or so if we are chosen to get them as a placement. Part of me is excited and part of me is nervous about having two babies in the house.
Like my last post, I am not sure what will happen and one minute you get a call and then next minute the children are being placed somewhere else or things change. Mostly this is because counties will call agencies like mine and get as many potential foster parents as possible. They will pick what they consider might be the best fit for these children. It all depends on the need out there and the number of current open beds that agencies have available. Who knows in a few weeks from now I could be the foster mother of a baby goat for all I know! I am joking, of course. Seriously, last time we had five calls and put our names down for three out of five of the calls. We finally ended up with the three girls.
Here is my take away from my first placement. This is a lot tougher job than they will ever tell you and it is impossible to prepare you for what you might face in a class! Counties will put a positive spin on the children because they want to get them care. They won't necessarily require you to get them all the help they need but they hope you will do as much as you can for them. By that I mean, counties can't afford to pay for theraputic care so they try to place children as traditional foster care as much as they can. If you are not careful you can go broke and be stuck doing far more than you expected if you really care about these kids. This is a "system" with lots of unwritten rules, manipulations, and you need to learn the ins and outs of it.
You are never prepared for what children might bring into your house either behavior wise or health wise and it will make you cry if you care about children. Our girls were exposed to adult horror movies so they really had a hard time sleeping. Also, they came in with nits we didn't know about and then had a full blown case of lice. The littlest one was very developmentally delayed enough to be borderline MRDD. She was a three year old with the speech skills of an 18 month old. The oldest horded food and wouldn't eat regular meals. She would tell you she hated everything. We had nearly every behavior that they talk about in the classes with those childern in two months.
Also, they all come in as wild children. Most have never had discipline and boundaries. If they had anything it was in the form of abuse. It becomes an incredible test of parental skills. If you pass you can make an incredible difference in a child's life. As challenging as it is, it also can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. As crazy as it was I can't wait to do it again (though I think my husband might have a differing opinion). :-)
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