I think finally I have been given a job by God that is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I honestly don't know if I can do this. I think I am going to just have to ask him for support every single day for the rest of my days for this because this could literally just break my heart.
A little over two weeks ago I got a call for little premie twin girls with a possibility of adoption. Of course I said yes and they are an incredible blessing. It is hard and tiring work but I can't imagine it being any different. The truly hard part however, is that there is still a possibility that they may be going home. The dad seems bent on trying to actually parent. I don't blame him really but he is a sex offender, and he may also have some developmental delays. How they can even consider this man to be a father to these children is beyond me. The mom can't parent because she is severely delayed and has only an IQ of 59.
I have to just guard my heart and every day my heart is in my throat thinking that I am doing all this work to help them and I may just have to let them go. How on earth I am going to be able to do that I have no idea. I just pray and pray that He will see me through this because this one I just can't make it on my own.
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