Ok I finally did it.... I ran to the grocery store just to get some ice cream and rabbit food (yes we rescued a rabbit last year!), I was walking past the kids section toward the pets section and I nearly had a nervous break down. I am not sure what the deal was but I just thought I would burst into fits of tears. I had to grab the rabbit food and just walk to another section of the store to calm down. Make-up and hair suppies seemed to work. Wow! I was just so overwhelmed in one moment.
I think this last miscarriage and the waiting for homestudies just has caught up with me. I just looked at all those baby clothes and felt like that will never be me again. I suddenly just lost it. I think for those of us that have either suffered losses, fertility treatments or the adoption process, we all have those break-down moments. Everything seems so overwhelming.
After I calmed down I was able to go home and luckily I have an understanding husband. We talked about it and I felt better. I know there are better days to come and I keep the faith and will continue to love all children that come my way.
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