Stacy, why do you want to adopt?

As silly as it may sound I decided to have an interview with myself. My reasoning is that I get asked these questions by people, so I thought it would be best to put all the answers in one place. People who know me know where my heart is but for those I may be just meeting for the first time, I think it's a great place to start advocating for adoption.

Q: "What led you to adoptions?"
A: After our first child was born, I had a very hard time getting and staying pregnant. I have always had it in my heart anyway to adopt, so committing myself to adoption rather than additional fertility treatments just seemed to be the right path for our family. Also, we have a number of adopted family members in our extended family so our children would be far from alone in that respect and would be readily accepted.

Q:"What types of Adoption are you considering?"
A: We are currently 2+ weeks away from receiving our certificate in the mail from the state for therapeutic foster/adoptive parents so we plan on fostering to adopt. Additionally we have inquired about special needs children in other countries. I am not sure what will come out of any of our endeavors but I am looking forward to growing our family.

Q:"Why would you consider fostering?"
A: First, it is a great way to help children who are in need of a home while their parents are getting the help they need. Also, it is a great way to be in position to adopt should parental rights be terminated. Second, there is a big misconception that foster kids are terribly damaged. Although this is a traumatic experience for most children, that doesn't mean that they can't have wonderful lives in our care. Most of them with the proper care can do very well and grow to live wonderful productive lives. Certainly many have varying degrees of physical, developmental and emotional issues but with support children are incredibly resilient.

Q:"Why would you consider a special needs child?"
A: I think most of us have grown up with a certain belief. We think that if we go into a store to get a can of soup we should get the one that has the shiny can. We only get the dented cans if we really can't afford to get the shiny one. When you are talking about children this isn't the case, but people still talk in language as though this is the case. First, it isn't as though we can't afford the shiny can. Well honestly, we can't at this point but if we really wanted the shiniest can we would have spend our money on adopting a newborn rather than fertility treatments.

The incorrect believe is that some how, some of us have shinier cans than others. The fact is that none of us has a perfectly shiny can. Inside we are all the same, we all have soup and the soup is the same regardless of the can. The point is that sometimes we care too much about the packaging and don't look at the person within, or in this case the child within. Only God is perfect and because he loves us and he sees us as his perfect children, we should see others as his children as well and focus on abilities not disabilities.

Since we feel this way we also feel that is is our place in the world to help those children who maybe other people might turn away. Also, many special needs children have correctable problems, or less severe issues and they can still live happy productive lives. Why not give them the chance and the love they deserve?

Q:"Why would you consider adopting from another country?"
A: That just may be where our child is. When you fall in love it doesn't matter the location. Also, special needs children in foreign countries are the "least of the least". They more than likely will be institutionalized for the rest of their lives. Few get the adequate medical care for their needs and often have much shorter life spans as well. Adopting a special needs child from a foreign country really is saving a life. Obviously, we support domestic adoption and foster care and that is our first choice. But, we also know that as imperfect as our foster/adopt system is it is far better than most foreign systems and therefore are open to whatever God sends our way.

Q: "Don't we adopt too many children from other countries already"?
A: Actually, that is a big misconception. In short, the the need is much greater than the number of people willing to help. In Russia alone there are over 150,000 orphans at any one time. Last year US citizens only adopted 1500+ children from Russia, for example. That is a small number in comparison to the the number of adoptions that took place in the United States. Additionally, only a small number of those Russian adoptions were special needs adoptions. If you need more comparison, in 2009 there were over 100,000 adoptions in the united states, 50,000 domestic adoptions from foster care and only 20,000 international adoptions again most of those are not considered special needs adoptions. In fact, statistically more domestic adoptions than international adoptions are special needs adoptions.

Q: "Isn't that just like buying a child?"
A: Although it sounds like you are because of the very large price tag associated with it, you are definitely not buying a child. First, the agencies that work to find homes for these children are mostly non-profit agencies and have to go through incredible scrutiny. Second, the high price tag is due to the fact that documents have to be translated, in-country liaisons and translators need to be hired. That is really where the money goes. With most special needs adoptions, agencies waive fees and often help you fund raise to meet the financial needs as well. It is still incredible to me the length people will go to, to help a child in need.

Q: "Are you doing this because you want to save the world?"
A: Although I truly believe that we are all called to help out wherever we can in the world, no I am not trying to save it. There isn't something missing in me that makes me want to go out and be a savior to others. I am however, trying to help one child because I love children and I love being a parent. As one family put it, "We didn’t decide to adopt because we wanted to "save" children out of pity or obligation. Plain and simple—it needed to be our way to create our family. We’re not heroes or saints, either. We’re just plain folks who wanted kids."